posted 1st April 2025
Last weekend, I found myself swept up in the magic of MJ the Musical. As the performers brought familiar melodies to life, something remarkable happened – I wasn't thinking about my to-do list or upcoming deadlines. I was simply present - with my gorgeous best friend - experiencing pure joy.
It struck me how rare these moments have become, not just for me, but for so many of you that I work with. These incredible, capable women aren't just tired – they're joy-deprived and it's a pattern I see repeatedly in my practice.
When was the last time you did something purely for the pleasure of it? Something with no productivity goal, no self-improvement angle and no practical purpose?
If you're struggling to remember, you're not alone.
Modern life has conditioned us to view every activity through the lens of productivity. Even our "self-care" often comes with expectations – meditation to increase focus, exercise to lose weight, reading to learn something new.
But what about joy for joy's sake?
You Haven't Lost Your Spark
Here's what I want you to know: You're not boring. You're just overdue a little fun.
That vibrant person who used to dance around the kitchen, stay up late talking with friends, or spend hours lost in creative projects? She's still there. She's just been buried under responsibilities, expectations and exhaustion.
The good news is that reconnecting with joy isn't as complicated as it might seem. It starts with a simple question:
If all your responsibilities disappeared – if time, guilt and pressure vanished – what would you do more of?
The Science of Play
This isn't just feel-good advice. There's compelling research showing that joyful activities are essential for our mental wellbeing.
A fascinating 2021 study published in Nature Neuroscience found that engaging in enjoyable, non-goal-oriented activities leads to improved focus, enhanced memory and greater productivity. Counterintuitive as it may seem, making time for play actually makes us more effective in our work and responsibilities.
Why? Because play activates the brain's "default mode network" – the region responsible for creativity, emotional processing and reflection. When we step away from constant doing and allow ourselves to simply enjoy, our minds create space for clarity and new ideas.
In other words, fun isn't frivolous – it's fundamental.
Finding Your Joy Again
For me, it's singing. Despite having a voice that would make vocal coaches wince, there's something about belting out a tune that fills me with inexplicable happiness. That's why I've been searching for a local choir to join – not to become a star performer, but to reconnect with something that feels authentically me.
Your joy might look completely different. Perhaps it's:
- Painting without worrying about the final result
- Dancing like nobody's watching
- Getting lost in a fictional world through books or writing
- Playing an instrument purely for pleasure
- Spending an afternoon in nature with no destination in mind.
The activity itself doesn't matter. What matters is that it lights you up from within.
Your Joy Challenge
This week, I have a simple invitation for you: carve out 30 minutes for something that brings you joy. Not because it's productive or because you should, but simply because it makes you happy.
I'd love to hear what you choose. What activities used to bring you joy that you're ready to welcome back into your life? Your experience might be exactly what another woman needs to hear to give herself permission to prioritise play again.
Let's make fun a non-negotiable part of our lives again because joy isn't just nice to have – it's necessary.
With love,
Stefanie x
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Have you forgotten what it feels like to experience pure, unbridled joy in your busy life? If you're ready to reconnect with that vibrant woman who once danced around the kitchen and prioritise pleasure without the guilt, let's chat about creating a life that feels lighter, brighter and genuinely yours again. Book your free discovery call today.
